Dear Sookie
by chicpea
Summary: Happy ever after? Sure, but living in the vampire world will never be uneventful. Pam, Sookie, and Eric travel with Felipe's entourage. A might-have-been future take to the series. O/S. My Sookie's Secret Santa gift for Moxiemo.


A/N: SVM is owned by Charlaine Harris. This was my contribution to Sookie's Secret Santa, a gift for Moxiemo, although it's not Christmas-themed. I figured I would post it here in case people didn't see it on the blog. It's set a few years after Dead Ever After. I'm not sure what to call it really; maybe a what-if epilogue adventure. Either way, I hope you'll enjoy it. Happy New Year!

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UPDATE 6/13: I wrote this story in 12/12, prior to the publication of DEA. Without spoiling the series ending for anyone, at the time I expected the plot of DEA to consist of Eric and Sookie getting out of the pickle with Freyda, and then being left to cope with King Felipe in Louisiana. This story occurs a few years after those events would have transpired. That's what you should know before reading.

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_Dear Sookie,_

_My lover's brother and his wife are expecting a baby. The couple aren't fans of the fang, and she has been told in no uncertain terms that she will not be named godmother if she remains in a relationship with me._

_She is opposed to my facilitating "an attitude adjustment" for them, but the situation is only getting worse. The other night she wept for several hours after they returned a gift for the child, unopened, because she signed the card from both of us. It was a very expensive bouncy chair that I found on the internet._

_Do you know of anyone who might need one? It will be of little use to us._

_- Frustrated in Fort Worth, TX_

"Put that one in the 'maybe' pile as well," I advised as Pam finished reading.

"What is a _bouncy chair_?" she asked.

"Pretty much what it sounds like," I replied. "The baby sits in the chair, and when he wriggles around, the chair bounces a little. Some of them have a built in mechanism to do the bouncing automatically. Babies really like them."

Pam looked dubious, and I suppose I couldn't blame her. The equipment required for babies had come a long way since the enormous prams and wicker baskets she must remember from her human life. I, on the other hand, considered myself to be an old pro by now; especially since the arrival of my nephew, John Dermott Stackhouse.

"It's so you don't have to constantly be holding the baby to keep it from fussing," I explained, and that seemed to clear the matter up in her mind.

"Well, these people are obviously very stupid," she said, waving the handwritten letter. I snatched it from her hand and placed it in the appropriate stack. "They're lucky to have a vampire interested in their child's welfare."

"Maybe," I suggested. "We don't really know the whole situation."

"It's certainly working out well for little CC," Pam observed.

Caroline Compton Bellefleur was the apple of Bill's eye, and he lavished attention and gifts on the little girl as often as her parents permitted.

It was not an impulse that Pam understood. The first time she had seen Bill holding CC, she looked at him as though the baby were a hideous appendage that had spontaneously burst from his chest, Alien-style.

Nonetheless, she remained firm in her belief that anything humans could do, vampires could do better, including care for human children. I disagreed with her on that account.

It was my turn to read.

_Dear Sookie,_

_I am in the process of redecorating the house; something my vampire suggested I do to help keep me busy during the day. Our dining room is quite large, and anything smaller than a table that seats twelve would look dwarfed in the space, but he refuses to let me unpack the walnut table and chairs I ordered!_

_He claims the entire set could too quickly be fashioned into weapons, and that having this amount of wood in the house is a hazard. They just don't make tables this large out of metal or glass, and these materials would be far too modern for my vision in any case._

_I can't move forward with the project until this room is done. How can I convince him that he's being irrational?_

_- Waylaid in Wichita, KS_

"Good grief," I muttered.

"I think you should answer that one," Pam said.

"It's from a vamp-wife," I scowled with disgust.

The latest show on the Bravo network focused on women (and men) who were attached to wealthy vampires and did nothing else. The cameras followed them around while they primped, preened, shopped, and occasionally got catty with each other. I thought it was the stupidest thing I'd ever seen, but since it combined vampires and rich people acting badly, naturally it was a runaway hit.

Eric had suggested an arrangement like that for me, once upon a time. I'd refused then, and my opinion on the subject hadn't changed. Didn't these people have any self respect?

"Did you watch last week?" she asked.

"I don't watch it."

"Cindy got cut loose," Pam continued, that devilish smirk she adopted whenever she found delight in others' misfortune spreading wide across her face.

"Poor woman."

"They showed her moving back to her parents' home. It was a _t__otal dump_."

"Wonderful," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Anyway. The furniture thing is worth addressing."

"No it isn't," I scoffed. "It's a non-issue. Every vampire I know has wood furniture in their house. You, Bill, Felipe, Indira," I waved a hand gesturing to my own coffee table. "Maxwell has a pool table for goodness' sake."

"Some of the younger ones see it as a valid concern," she argued. "They think standing the test of time involves simply hiding from anything that could potentially harm them."

"Vampire hypochondriacs?" I asked skeptically.

"It's quite asinine, really," Pam agreed.

"So you would side with the human on this one?" That was rare. Most of the time she argued the vampire side just on principle.

"In this particular instance, the vampire is being stupid. If he is letting people into his home where there is even a chance they would tear the tables apart to fashion stakes, he's got bigger problems than the decorating."

"Well, well, well," I smiled. "Okay, we'll put this one in."

The 'Dear Sookie' advice column in Southern Vampire Magazine had been Pam's brain child. I offered, in her words, "a unique insight on vampire-human relations that could greatly benefit the broader community." In addition to that, it kept me on the radar somewhat, which was pretty useful to us as far as keeping me alive and intact went. Hundreds of readers would be up in arms if I ever went missing. I was Sookie Stackhouse: quasi vampire media darling.

The tag line they printed beneath my picture every month was the very tongue-in-cheek, '_She knows what the humans are thinking__.'_

We'd even got a deal to write the book that Bill and I had joked about so long ago. The working title was 'Vamps are from Mars, Humans are from Venus.' We'd never be able to use that, but it was going to be a relationship guide in a similar style.

It was all enough to keep me busy on the nights I was away from the bar, where both Sam and I had worked out a fairly even split on the management duties; and the nights I was away from Eric, because the demands on his time were unceasing even now that we enjoyed a relative peace.

"Next?" Pam asked, and I grabbed another envelope.

_Dear Sookie,_

_My human refuses to let me feed on him in front of other vampires, but gets angry when I feed on other humans in company as well. There's just no winning._

_He is very attractive, and quite skilled in bed, but he is just not adapting well to my lifestyle in these other areas. Is it worth trying to work it out?_

_- Ambivalent in Andalusia, Alabama_

I dropped the page, shaking my head.

"He answers it himself right in the signature," Pam noted. "It's not worth it if he's only ambivalent."

"It's open ended enough that I could write about compromise and both making and effort to meet halfway as far as basic understanding goes." I frowned, taking the letter back up for another read through. "I just don't like telling people they should break up, even when it's completely obvious they should. I get so much mail about those columns, and not all of it is nice."

"Another maybe, then?" Pam suggested.

"Maybe what?" came the voice from right over my shoulder.

I'd felt him coming, so I wasn't startled. I did leap up to hug around his neck, because I hadn't seen Eric in three nights.

"Hi baby!" I kissed his cheek. "You're early!"

"I could not stay away from you another moment, my Sookie."

I beamed at him and we rubbed noses and then began to kiss loudly.

I won't say we're not affectionate when we're alone, but we hammed it up for the benefit of Eric's child, who never failed to pretend to be disgusted in her turn.

"Sookie, my time is valuable," she snapped, still unwilling to direct at Eric the same criticism she did at me.

"I'm sorry Pam. I hope we didn't make you uncomfortable." My voice was sweet and utterly disingenuous.

"Shut up."

She made a face, and I stuck my tongue out at her. Eric leaned in to capture said tongue, and then I got my real kiss hello. When we broke apart again, Pam was standing with her purse on her hip ready to depart.

"I assume you two will be busy until it's time to leave."

"Surely you have an Area to attend to Pam?" Eric asked pointedly.

"Don't be late," Pam instructed me, before she let herself out.

We were to meet Felipe's plane so it could carry us on to Louisville, Kentucky. Since Rhodes, the vampires had not gone back to holding their elaborate summit meetings. Instead, when they were required to meet, they did so in cities large enough to spread out the visiting vampires among several different hotels. They rented conference rooms and meeting space, but there was no gala, no vendors showroom, exhibitions, or scheduled outings. There was to be a brief mixer during which the opening ceremony was conducted, but otherwise it was all business.

I talked to Quinn two weeks ago, and apparently he wasn't even going to pack his genie pants.

Pam was going because despite Jonathan's best efforts down in New Orleans, Area 5 was still the most profitable region in the state, thanks largely to Bill and Eric.

I was going because Felipe had asked me to. The vampires still found it useful to have a telepath around, and just like when Sophie-Anne was undead, they thought of me as their "special" human. There wasn't going to be any entertainment for this weekend, but I was an interesting curio to them, with the added bonus of being trusted to watch their backs.

Eric was going because I was. I never traveled without him. It wasn't allowed. Felipe still claimed me as an asset of his kingdom, and since I refused to be kept safely locked away in a Las Vegas casino, I'd agreed to never leave Area 5 unless I was accompanied by Eric. It worked both ways. If I was ever sent anywhere or summoned by Felipe, Eric was expected to go with me and stay with me. At the same time, if I ever ran off, Eric would be held accountable. I had no intention of running off.

Pam being made Sheriff had surprised everyone. We understood why Eric couldn't keep the position. In Felipe's eyes, he had masterminded the killing of Victor, and that could not go unpunished. Pam had been promoted, we guessed, because she already commanded a good deal of authority in the Area. Also, Felipe had been running out of competent vampires willing to move to our humble backwater. Finally, it was an attempt to create bad feelings between Eric and Pam that thankfully hadn't worked. They'd basically just swapped job titles and continued to work as a team.

Seeing that, Felipe had given Eric a job not unlike the one Sandy Sechrest used to have. It involved traveling around a lot within the sprawling kingdom and keeping everyone else in line. It wasn't Eric's first choice, but on the whole he didn't mind. The fact that he was gone a couple of nights each week was also a punishment for me, but between work and Pam's company, I didn't get too lonely.

We were actually quite content. Happy, even. Felipe managed to save face without having to dispose of any more useful people, and things in Area 5 had pretty much gone back to what they had been, which was all we ever wanted.

We arrived at the appointed hangar on time, sidling over to Pam just a few minutes before the chartered Anubis plane taxied up. The King did not disembark to greet us, but his daytime guy did, along with the pilot. The woman looked neat and official in her Anubis blacks as she oversaw the plane's refueling. Pam was quick to board and pay her obeisance to Felipe while Eric and I stayed out, both to oversee the loading of our bags and their coffins, and to limit the amount of time we would spend locked in an enclosed space with Felipe's nearest and dearest.

"We have a tight schedule to keep, sir."

The besuited human addressed Eric with deference, which was not always the case with the people who worked for Felipe. Eric was still Eric, but within the power structure he was back to paying his dues. Because that was well-known, some people – stupid people – would sneer at him.

I was pretty sure he kept a running list.

Fact was, if we had fled to another kingdom, we would have been starting from scratch anyway. At least this way we knew that sooner or later Eric would be back on the ins with the leadership. Felipe wasn't stupid. He was harsh, but unlike Victor, he never pushed us to a breaking point.

"If you and your wife are ready to board, we can be in the air in just a few minutes."

Felipe's daytime guy was in his late fifties and reminded me of a professional butler whose hobbies might include jogging and accountancy. He was fit, fastidious, and polite. He was extremely attracted to Eric, but that didn't cause him to think any rude thoughts about me. I decided that I liked him. He had introduced himself as Jerome.

I entered the plane first and for a moment I felt very alone. There were two vampires I did not recognize. A female with bright orange hair dressed head to toe in turquoise leathers sat next to an equally ginger male more casually attired in khaki pants and a loose white dress shirt. Pam was already seated beside Horst Friedman. Felipe was there of course, but what surprised me was the presence of Angie Weatherspoon. Felipe's consort didn't usually accompany him on matters of strictly business. I hoped she wasn't planning to do any dancing this flight. I doubted the tray tables would support her weight.

It was a very small party, which was in line with the nature of the gathering. It didn't take much to deduce that the strangers were Red Rita of Arkansas and one of her sheriffs. This was confirmed by introduction when Felipe stood to direct me to my seat.

"Meezh Stackhouse, please sit here," he instructed, gesturing to the empty seat next to Angie. That would put Eric next to Felipe, which I tried to take as an encouraging sign.

I was also pleased to notice that he gave my honorific a little more 'z' as he pronounced it, making me more decidedly a Ms., instead of a Miss. I took it for a recognition of my married status, instead of a more unpleasant gibe about my age. I still looked good, but I'd become a weensy bit sensitive ever since my thirtieth birthday had come and gone.

I gave Angie a tentative smile as I sat down, and she returned it. It wasn't until we were in the air that I realized maybe the seating arrangement hadn't been designed so that Felipe could talk to Eric. Angie Weatherspoon was a fan of mine.

"I laughed so much when you told this woman she needed to 'drop the zero and get with a hero,'" she quoted gleefully.

A couple of months back, I'd responded to a woman that preferred dating vampires, but whose lover wasn't treating her very well. She wanted to know how she could get him to be nicer. I'd advised her to move on. There were plenty of other vamps in the sea, and she shouldn't stay in a bad situation simply because this guy met just one of her qualifications. It was the same advice I'd give to anyone.

"I'm surprised you read it," I said honestly. "Since it's geared towards people who are dating humans, and you, uh, don't."

"Sometimes we keep humans around," Angie confided with a girlish little chuckle. In theory, I knew that was true, both of vampire-vampire couples in general, and of Felipe and Angie specifically. My impression had been a series of one-night scenarios, rather than ongoing polyamorous arrangements. It was really not my business, and I didn't want to dwell on it.

"Besides," Angie continued. "Everybody loves Dear Sookie."

"Really?" I smiled.

"Oh yes. Even Horst is reading it now. I showed him the website for the magazine."

"I'm glad you enjoy it," I told her. "I do try to make it funny. Sometimes it's good to be able to laugh at our troubles. Mostly I just hope I'm helping people."

"Do you ever hear back from them? I want to know what happened to the man who was thinking of leaving his lover for her maker."

"Sometimes they will write to me to tell me how it worked out. If you are thinking of the same guy from Florida, he ended up being turned by the current lover, and then he had some problems with his human family afterward."

"Oh, too bad. What about the woman who used the silver throat spray?"

"I never heard back," I cringed.

There had been no saving that relationship.

I'd included that letter because it was a good chance to talk about being mindful of humans' health. Giving blood all the time and often not getting enough sleep made vampire-dating humans more prone to illness. Vamps had to be more conscious of their humans' wellness and humans had to be careful of what kind of supplements they took.

The girl who'd decided it would be a great idea to use a numbing spray as an aid for oral sex, without noticing that its main ingredient was colloidal silver, had a problem no advice column could solve.

The conversation continued that way for half an hour before the plane hit turbulence and I found myself tensing up. Eric turned in his seat to check on me but I shook him off. It was just a routine thing, and we would be fine.

I was wrong.

Just to reassure myself, I stretched my mind out to check on the pilot. She was in tremendous pain, and I shot out of my seat just as the plane banked hard to the side. I spilled over the aghast Angie Weatherspoon to go tumbling into the aisle.

"Sookie, what is wrong?" Eric demanded.

"The pilot," I said, straining to pull my feet under me so he could help me stand. "Something is wrong with the pilot."

"Go," Felipe ordered someone.

I was holding myself up between the seats and I saw Pam shoot forward to wrench open the door to the cockpit. Aren't they supposed to be locked? No match for vampire strength I guess. The pilot was slumped forward over the handlebar control things, and there were a lot of lights flashing in there. I've seen enough on television to know that was a really bad sign.

As Pam pulled the woman back, there was a lurch and suddenly we were on an incline as well as a slant.

"Pam, level out the controls," I yelled.

She seemed to be the only one moving. The vampires around me had all gone very still. Eric had caged me in between the seats, as though he would somehow be able to use his body to defend against a fiery inferno if we plunged to our doom.

I pushed around him, ducking under his arms to get free.

The Anubis steward was buckled in to the jump seat at the back of the plane near the service area and the bathroom, staring forward in wide-eyed horror.

"Hey!" I shouted, snapping my fingers in front of him. He turned to me slowly, and blinked. I read the name off his little gold tag. "Richard! Hey! Snap out of it!"

I didn't have a lot of time to spend on this guy, but I knew he could be my best ally. At that moment there was a loud bang and the much duller clatter of the oxygen masks dropping down. That seemed to get his attention.

"Ma'am, please return to your seat!"

"Are there any parachutes on board?" I demanded.

"Yes."

"Okay good, go get them. Right now."

"Ma'am..."

"Are you gonna fly this plane? No? Okay then! Make yourself useful. Chop chop!"

I actually clapped my hands in his face until he sprung into action.

I stumbled back up to the front, pulling Eric with me along the way. Things had gone from bad to worse in the cockpit. Pam's attention was torn between trying to hold the controls still with one hand, and trying to hold the pilot still. She had started to seize and was juddering around in her seat. Well shit.

"Eric, take her out of here," I said, meaning the pilot. "And get Richard."

"Who is Richard?" he asked tonelessly, hooking his arms under the pilot's to pull her out of the way.

I slid in to co-pilot's chair and tried to work the steering wheel, but nothing happened when I did. There had to be some switch or something to activate them. I stared at the millions of controls as though the correct one would be labeled, "SOOKIE PUSH THIS!"

"I can't fly a plane!" I cried helplessly to Pam.

There was a loud thump and Eric was gone. The cramped space was suddenly full of Horst.

"Move," he ordered, and though I realized afterward he was talking to Pam, I got the hell out of the way.

In a flash, Horst was in the pilot's seat, flipping switches, turning knobs and pushing buttons. The plane bobbed once more, and then, it leveled out.

"Give me the radio," he demanded.

"I... what does it look like?" I babbled.

"The headphones. Give me the headphones."

I found them on the floor. They must have fallen off the pilot when Eric dragged her away. How was he going to put them on without taking his hands off the controls? I moved to put them on his head. He grabbed my hand before I reached him and took them.

"See to the human," he barked, and then proceeded to talk pilot jargon to someone we couldn't hear.

I looked at Pam. She looked even whiter than she normally did, and that was saying something. "Go," she mouthed, and I went.

The pilot was dead.

"Her heart is not beating," Eric said.

"Should we do CPR?" I asked.

"You can try."

I did try, for fifteen minutes, and Richard even managed to produce a portable defibrillator, but it was no use. The pilot was dead. As soon as I realized that I let Eric lead me away from the body, which Richard then covered with a couple of those felt blankets.

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

"Horst ees flying us now." I didn't have to look up. Felipe's voice was unmistakable.

"Does he really know how?"

"Well it is going better than it was before."

Was that supposed to be comforting?!

I looked up at Eric in alarm, and he shook his head. At what, I couldn't say. I tried to curl into him and it was at that point I realized that he was in fact wearing a parachute. I was mildly comforted that after his initial freakout, Richard the flight attendant had snapped into action.

Now that we'd done everything we could for the poor pilot, Richard went into the cockpit. A moment later, Pam came out, looking very relieved. I didn't forget that she was the only other person who hadn't frozen up when we realized something was wrong. She had probably saved us.

Since Eric and I were effectively sharing a seat at that point, she sat down beside us.

"I think he knows what he is doing," she said.

"That's good."

"Yes," she agreed.

"This isn't going to be like one of those things from the movies where he knows how to fly, but doesn't know how to land, and then we crash and die just when we thought we were safe, right?"

My irrational hysteria was a little late to the party, but it had finally arrived.

"He has been taking lessons," Felipe said. He was still clutching tightly to Angie's hand, and as he looked over at us, I got the impression that he would like very much to be able to grab her up and hold on to her the way Eric was holding on to me. Since he had to be kingly, and she had to be vampire-y, that wasn't happening. Rita and Carrot Top were equally subdued, and Jerome was still wearing his oxygen mask.

I felt the plane start its downward shift and whimpered involuntarily.

"It's okay everyone," came Richard's quavering voice over the PA system. "We are beginning our normal descent to Louisville. Mr. Horst is speaking to air traffic control and they are clearing the sky for us. A medical team will be meeting us on the runway for the human passengers. Please return to your seats and fasten your safety belts in preparation for landing."

I was sorely tempted to kiss the tarmac once we deplaned. At the insistence of the EMTs, Jerome, Richard, and I were thoroughly checked over for stress related injuries. The vampires huddled close by while Felipe spoke angrily to the Anubis representative.

"I assure you sir, Becky's medical clearance was current. Her most recent certificate is from just five weeks ago, and there was absolutely nothing irregular about her heart. We'll be conducting a full autopsy..."

"Thees is unacceptable. Do you understand that if it were not for my own people, we would all have perished. Your man," he said, pointing an angry finger towards Richard, perched beside me on the ambulance tailgate, "would be dead. If you are not concerned for me, maybe you will at least be concerned for him!"

"Mr. DeCastro, Anubis Airlines is absolutely committed to setting this matter to rights..."

"There is nothing you can do. Do you understand? Nothing. The hotel is sending cars for my party. You may go. I do not wish to speak to you any more."

"Sir, we really need to talk with everyone on board to complete the incident report."

"You may speak to Jerome tomorrow, if he is able. If he is not taken to the human hospital because of your airline's incompetence."

"Mr. DeCastro..."

Felipe did the most vampiric thing I've ever seen him do when he lunged forward, grabbing the Anubis man's coat and hoisting him into the air by the fabric.

"I said you may go," he spat. "Do not make me change my mind."

He dropped the man just before the few nervous looking police officers gathered around us mustered up the courage to try to step in. They'd taken statements from us immediately, but as far as we knew, the only crime that had occurred was Horst flying the plane without a pilot's license. Under the circumstances, they were willing to forgive that one.

We were sharing the vampire floor of the Louisville Marriott with the party from Alabama. They had four rooms, and we'd reserved five, plus a room downstairs on a regular floor for Jerome. There was some debate after the incident about whether or not we should all stay together, or even stay at the same hotel. In the end, Felipe rented out the remainder of the vampire floor, keeping Jerome close by. Pam, Horst, Rita, and her sheriff all got their own rooms.

Felipe and Angie's room was a suite. It wasn't nearly as lavish as the one Sophie-Anne had once rented at the former Pyramid of Gizeh, but by the standards of a Marriott, it was pretty nice. There was room enough for all of us, as well as the Queen of Alabama's party when she came to say her hellos.

She was either a wonderful actress or she hadn't heard about our ordeal. She actually looked shocked when the story was relayed.

"Do you really believe it was an accident?" she asked Felipe.

"They claim the woman was healthy, yet suddenly she has a heart attack when she is flying me. It is suspect to say the least."

"Could she have taken something? A drug? Could it be the same people as last time?" The Queen of Alabama lowered her voice as she spoke of "last time," meaning Rhodes.

She was one of the lucky ones who survived that bombing completely unscathed. We'd never been formally introduced, but I recognized her from the tasteful advertisements she now did for the makers of her modern steel coffin. Talk about a winning testimonial.

"I don't think so," I piped up. Predictably, the many pairs of vampire eyes in the room shot to me. Eric shifted infinitesimally at my side.

"I read her, before we boarded," I explained. "And the flight attendant and the baggage guys too. If this was some kind of plot, none of them knew about it. I've heard martyrs before, and there was nothing like that. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I doubt it was the Fellowship again."

"So this was a freak accident?" Pam asked skeptically.

"I do not think we will know conclusively until the human doctors have examined the remains." Since Pam and I had interrupted the monarchs, evidently Carrot Top felt he could contribute to the conversation as well.

Alabama stayed until practically dawn, and unfortunately we were obliged to remain until she left. After Eric and I had crawled into bed in our own room, we wrapped ourselves around each other and held on tight.

Even now, I'm still prone to a touch of claustrophobia when I wake up in a light tight room next to my cold dead darling husband. Not that day. I was grateful to have him lying next to me, and stayed in bed for a long time after I'd woken up, just basking in the certainty of his presence.

Finally, I got up and set about unpacking our things. We would only be here for two more nights, but I didn't want our suits to stay crumpled in the garment bag. I took the iron to one of his shirts and paired it with a tie for him before ironing my own blouse. I had a new skirted suit in a warm rose color from Tara's Togs that would be making its debut at the reception tonight.

I was still in the shower when Eric rose for the evening. He joined me, and our lovemaking there was quick and needful. He fed from me, leaving his fang marks visible, just in case there was anyone in Amun Clan who was not aware that I was Eric's human wife. Once we were dressed, he also presented me with a little gold pin in the shape of a feather to wear on my lapel. I knew that this was something akin to an ID badge for the vampires attending the conference.

"It is from Felipe."

"I'll be sure to thank him," I promised.

"It is unusual that you would be allowed to wear this."

"I figured. I'm practically a vampire now, huh?"

He leaned over me, fixing the pin to my suit as we stood in front of the mirror. He kissed my neck before straightening up.

"You have only to give your consent, my love, and there will be no 'practically' about it."

"Not tonight, Eric," I sighed.

We have this conversation every three months or so. He claims it is just to be certain I have not changed my mind yet.

"You could have died."

"We all could have died."

"Maybe for us. For you, practically a certainty."

"We have other stuff to think about tonight," I warned him.

"I want you to think about it again."

"I will. I do."

"No, Sookie. Do not pay me lip service on this. I want you to really think about it – for us, and for now – not just because you made a decision five years ago."

I turned around to look at him, searching his eyes. He was as serious as I've ever seen him.

"I promise that I will think about it again, Eric."

"Alright," he agreed, and kissed me.

To my great relief, there was human food at the reception, which was held at a different hotel. Because it was a human hotel, the food was actually pretty good. There weren't more than a dozen breathers in the room, including the few shifters in attendance, but we were amply provided for. I found myself sitting at a little table with Jerome and King Isaiah's daytime guy, who was, in fact, a daytime gal.

She was a pleasant sort of woman, middle-aged and motherly, and unlike most of the humans you find working in proximity to vamps, there didn't seem to be a hint of lust in her entire zaftig body. I hadn't given it a lick of thought before that moment, but if I had to picture a human to pair with the King of Kentucky's slow and folksy persona, it would have been a lady just like Ramona. He played that part from soup to nuts, by golly.

"Is it true your plane got hijacked?" she asked.

"Our pilot had a heart attack in mid-flight," I explained. "Felipe's second had to land us."

"Wow! Lucky that he knew how."

"He's been taking lessons," Jerome told her. "Felipe flies so much throughout the empire that it may be more cost effective to buy his own jet instead of chartering all the time. I've been looking at the figures, and I think he's right."

He managed to say all that without sounding arrogant, which was kind of a feat. Felipe, who still resided in Narayana's Nevada, wasn't the most popular guy in the room. I knew there were probably half a dozen monarchs here who would absolutely love to poach either Louisiana or Arkansas back from him. Since there was nothing I could do about that, and since I knew the same was probably true for any other territory they could get their hands on, I tried not to lose sleep over it.

Pam came over to us then, and when she saw who I was with, she paused.

"Sookie, do you have a moment?"

It was a far cry from the expected, 'Sookie, come with me.'

"I surely do, Pam. Ramona, it was nice to meet you. Jerome, see you later."

"Did she have anything interesting on her mind?" Pam asked softly as she led me away.

"Not really. Jerome mentioned something about Felipe buying his own plane, and she made a mental note to report that. He has instructions to drop subtle hints about Felipe's wealth, so everyone goes home happy."

"Nothing about the plane?"

"She'd heard we were hijacked, so either Isaiah's connections to local law enforcement aren't terrific, or he just doesn't keep his human in the loop."

Pam nodded thoughtfully, as if I'd revealed something terribly interesting. It had finally occurred to me that though the humans at this get together were very few in number, this was definitely a case of quality over quantity. Many of these were the trusted facilitators of powerful vampires, and I was sure I'd catch more than a little information worth passing on to Felipe this weekend.

"Here she is," Pam smiled, bringing us to a halt in front of two vampires that I didn't know, but who looked vaguely familiar. "Sookie Stackhouse, I'd like you to meet Diana Francis and Emad El-Din, from Ann Arbor, Michigan. They're very active with the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs, behind the scenes of course."

"I'm pleased to meet you," I said. "I have to tell you, you look awfully familiar. Have I seen you on television?"

Diana let out a wonderful tinkling laugh that drew the attention of several of the vampires nearby, who all smiled before returning to their own conversations.

"Sookie," she said "I'm so glad to meet you. We are readers of your column, and I understand that we have a mutual acquaintance."

"In Michigan? Oh! Do you know Rasul?"

"He is Sheriff of our area," Emad said, inclining his head.

"He is? I didn't hear he got promoted. I'd be grateful if you'd send him my best regards."

"Certainly," Emad agreed.

"Now, you must settle a bet for us please, Sookie."

"What's that, Diana?" I smiled. In fact, I was slightly unnerved. Normally, vampires are not this friendly, but for some reason I had the distinct impression that they were not screwing with me. It made sense that people who worked with the BSA would be more personable than most. I tried to chalk it up to that.

"Dodi says that you must make up some of the letters, that they can't possibly be real. You can tell us. We'll swear to secrecy if it's true."

"I'm sometimes sorry to say it, but they're all real. We keep the hard copies on record. I suppose it's possible that people invent problems and then write to us, but the letters at least do not come from me."

"I told you!" Diana proclaimed triumphantly, turning to Emad, who she had called Dodi. "I'm getting the crocodile skin umbrella and you won't say another word!"

"No, my love, I will not," he said, making her a very deferential bow, as he smiled fondly.

That's when it clicked.

"Thank you Ms. Stackhouse," Dodi started to say, but I cut him off.

"Oh my god, you're Princess Diana!" I blurted out.

This time it was Pam who let out the belt of laughter as I clapped a hand over my mouth, eyes wide. Stunned, I dropped into the most graceless curtsey ever known to womankind.

"Oh now Sookie, none of that, please," Diana said kindly, taking my arm to pull me up. "There is plenty of royalty in this room, and I am exceedingly glad to not be counted among their number."

I suppose there was that. Not in a million years would I bow to a vampire monarch, but come on! The People's Princess? How not?

Could I get away with hugging her?

I just looked at her, still a little shell-shocked. Dodi and Pam were chuckling as Eric sauntered over. There was a look exchanged and Diana released my arm to Eric, who tucked it neatly in his.

"Sookie, who are your new friends?"

Did he not recognize them either? See? Take that, Pam!

"Eric, this is Diana Francis and Emad El-Din, from Michigan. Your ma, yo- _Diana_, Dodi, this is my husband, Eric Northman."

They all exchanged the vampire nod, but Eric led me away in short order, claiming that Felipe wanted to see me.

"Eric, do you know who they were?"

"The people from Michigan?"

It was "Alexei Romanov who?" all over again. Sometimes it really struck home just how little attention Eric paid the human world before the Revelation. Heck, even now. He'd once confessed that he had no idea who Bubba was until about a decade after he'd been turned, which come to think of it, was possibly one of the reasons why Bubba liked Eric so much.

"That was Princess Diana and Dodi Al-Fayed!"

"Ah."

"How did they fake those autopsies? I can't believe it. She was mourned by the entire world. Elton John wrote a song for her! How do they just live in Michigan? Did you know Rasul is a sheriff now?"

"I had heard that," he said stiffly. Oops. Touchy subject.

"Sorry, baby."

"I am glad you met the Arab and his woman."

"Thanks, honey," I said, patting his arm. He tried.

It turned out that what Felipe wanted me to do was meet the King of Ohio, his Lieutenant, and the Lieutenant's lover who, like Sam, was a true shapeshifter. Ohio was a very new king, the second to ascend the throne in that state since Phoebe Golden's former husband had perished in Rhodes. All that I managed to get from the shifter was the fact that her king was eager to make friends and was still in the process of securing his reign, which I would have known whether I read her mind or not.

It wasn't long after that when I heard a small gong being sounded. The chatter died away almost immediately, and I spotted Quinn standing at a podium on the other side of the room. From this vantage, I could only make out the top of his head, but I recognized his voice easily enough.

My ex-boyfriend the weretiger recited the words that opened the "summit" officially, something I'd missed the last time I came to one of these. He spoke of the significance of Amun, the symbol of the feather, and their meaning to the clan. He welcomed everyone in peace, and spoke of the implicit pact between the monarchs that they would not attempt to kill each other while we were here. I hadn't considered it before, but it made sense that a formal truce was required for these events.

The party broke up pretty quickly after that, and the vampires began to move off to their various meetings and appointments. The sheriffs split off into smaller groups while the monarchs remained in this room. A team from EEE make quick work of transitioning the space from ballroom to seminar hall. I felt Eric's surprise when Felipe extended the invitation to stay with Red Rita and him for their meeting. Eric had no formal function here, and I'd been looking forward to returning to our hotel room.

It occurred to me then that I hadn't seen Horst all evening. Before I could voice the question, Jerome was at my side.

"We need to go the airport to speak to the Anubis people about what happened last night."

I looked at Eric, then looked at Felipe.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked. What I meant was, 'That is not a good idea.'

"Horst ees there now. He will bring you back here when you are through answering their questions."

"Shouldn't Eric come with us?" I asked.

"Eric, from Louisiana, is needed here, lest these dogs attempt to ignore the weight of my vote."

"You will be safe," Eric said tersely. I knew this was big for him, and by extension us, in terms of making progress with Felipe. I could also feel that he was genuinely torn about letting me go without him, and that helped me to pull up my big girls panties and agree without further fuss.

Reforming the bond hadn't exactly been a conscious decision. It was something we allowed to happen by way of not actively avoiding blood exchanges during sex. In my mind, it was kind of like when human couples agree to stop using birth control and let nature takes its course in regards to pregnancy. Eric and I had been "blessed" pretty quickly, and this time around, now that I had real certainty in our feelings for one another, I found I _did_ like it.

The Anubis people were incredibly nice to us. I expected more hostility after Felipe's outburst the night before, but the folks Jerome and I talked to felt their man had gotten off lightly. One of the managers hinted broadly that they'd seen worse reactions for far lesser offenses than a brush with death, and I dipped into his mind far enough to see the truth in that.

Horst had been on the Anubis premises since just after sundown, and joined us shortly after we arrived. Since he had flown the plane, and in doing so avoided a calamity of greater proportions, there was just a lot more stuff they needed to go over with him. I learned later that included giving him a rather sizable monetary reward. He was the hero of the hour. They thanked me for my efforts I trying to resuscitate the pilot, but because she had died anyway, I wasn't given the same sort of bounty. The rest of us passengers were being offered some other compensation, pursuant to an agreement that we not sue the airline. We signed nothing. Jerome agreed to bring the paperwork to the king and let him decide.

We told them everything we knew. When we go to the sticky parts, about the things I only knew because of my telepathy, Horst covered for me. He claimed he heard the pilot's heart stutter and stop, and her moan of pain. Behind a closed door and over the sound of the engines, that was a stretch even for a vampire, but they didn't question it. My ability might be common knowledge in the vampire world, but I still didn't make a habit of speaking frankly about it to humans, even ones who might have heard the rumors.

It only took a couple of hours to get them everything they needed. The airline offered a car to take us anywhere we needed to go, but we followed the precedent set by Felipe the night before and refused. When our taxi arrived, I sat in front with the driver, sparing him from sitting next to Horst. Even when he was calm, he was almost as menacing a presence as Eric. After quick deliberation, we opted to return to the place where the meetings were still in session, rather than to our own accommodations.

We were almost there when we got stopped at a red light. I could see the hotel awning half a block away. It was one of those interminably long lights that seemed completely unnecessary, especially at this hour of the night when the streets were nearly vacant.

Nearly.

I slammed forward against the seat belt as the car hit us from behind. It was a loud noise, punctuated by Jerome and Horst colliding with the front seats, and then I heard tires squealing. The car that hit us backed up and then tore off through the empty intersection and down the street. Horst's door flew open and I saw his figure blur as he pursued on foot at vampire speed.

"Are you okay? Is everybody okay?" The cab driver, a sour faced older gentleman, was whizzing around in his seat looking from me to Jerome, and I could hear him wondering where the hell Horst had gone.

"I'm fine," I assured him quickly. "Jerome?"

"Fine," he said, sounding dazed. His voice was coming from between the seats. In the back, he hadn't been buckled in. "I'm fine. What hit us?"

"Black town car," I murmured. The light switched from red to green, and the driver pulled the crumpled cab over to the curb. "Do you guys have those red light cameras here?" I asked. "Maybe they captured the hit. I didn't get the license plate."

"Maybe your vamp did," said the driver shakily, before picking up his radio to inform the dispatch office about the accident.

Jerome and I got out of the car and sat down on the curb. Horst returned shortly after.

"Did you catch the car?" Jerome asked, though it was pretty obvious he hadn't.

"She got away," the vampire answered angrily.

I pulled out my phone and sent Eric a text message. We were practically outside the hotel at that point, we were with Horst, we were fine, and we would have to talk to the police again. I told him to stay in his meeting for now. His presence here would only confuse matters, and we were indeed unharmed.

One of the bellhops from the hotel came over as we waited for the cops to arrive.

"I saw the whole thing! That lady hit you and just tore off right through the red light! Are you guys okay?" he asked as an afterthought.

"I think we're fine."

We spent another hour in the company of the Louisville Metro Police Department. Since we were all thankfully uninjured, and refused medical attention, it wasn't much of an ordeal. The cab driver turned out to be a lot more accustomed to filing incident reports than the airline. He had a clipboard right in his glove box with a standard form that only required him to check some boxes and take our names and addresses. He left our copy with Jerome.

Horst had received a message from Felipe that he was to remain with us until the next round of meetings let out. I couldn't tell if he was annoyed to be stuck with the duty of babysitting the humans or not. We were all pretty much lost in our own thoughts. At Jerome's request, we waited in the hotel bar. It was a grand idea. I've rarely been the kind of person who says, "I could sure use a drink," but just then, I could sure use a drink.

"I think someone is trying to kill us," Jerome said, finishing his second glass of neat scotch.

"I think you're probably right," I agreed. "You got any enemies?"

"Me? No. I'm sure there are people who don't like that I work for Felipe, but those are his enemies, not mine."

"How about you, Horst?" I asked.

The vampire was drowning his own sorrows in a goblet of Royalty Blended. He shot me a sardonic look in response to the question. All vampires have enemies.

"Anyone specific? Ex-girlfriend? Angry neighbor? Some guy you beat at cards?"

"I don't know," he replied. "Why are you asking me?"

"Well, it's possible they are after anyone from Felipe's territories," I conceded. "But if not, then its one of us three. I also think that this thing with the car was a desperate move."

"What do you mean?" Horst asked.

"Well, it was unlikely to do us any real harm. If that pilot was a plant, if Alabama was right, and they were given a drug or a poison to induce a heart attack... that was a really elaborate scheme. This was just impulsive. I mean no one could have known that we were going to be driving back to the hotel at that time."

"It could just be a coincidence," Jerome said. He visibly shrunk as he received an identical pair of withering stares.

"Until we know for sure, it's better to take it seriously," I said kindly. "If someone wanted us to have a plane crash, why wouldn't they have just tampered with the plane? Done something to the electrical systems or rigged up an engine or something?"

"Anubis does a full check to all systems before every takeoff. If there is any problem, the plane doesn't leave. It is part of their added security," Horst supplied.

"Don't all airlines do that?"

"Yes and no. There are standard checks, but they also have mechanics working to fix things immediately if there is a need. With Anubis, they don't do that. If there is any problem, the flight is canceled, period."

"Did they teach you all that in flight school?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"So tampering with the pilot herself was the only sure fire way to endanger the flight," Jerome concluded.

"We should probably tell the police that, so they can tell the autopsy person to look for evidence of foul play," I said.

"I think they do that automatically. That's the point of an autopsy."

"Oh."

"What about you, Sookie? Do you have any enemies?" Jerome asked.

Maybe it was the gin. I just laughed.

Eric, Felipe, and Rita found us not long later. Horst made it clear he was done hobnobbing with the humans, and I guess Eric was was being invited to the next meeting as well, so Angie Weatherspoon came to collect Jerome and I. Jerome was expected to wait up for Felipe's return, but I was free to go to bed, and that's exactly what I did.

I vaguely recall Eric coming in and telling me to go back to sleep. Things must have gone well on the vampire front that night, if the contented look he wore as he died for the day was any evidence. I loved when that happened. It made him look like he was just sleeping peacefully, having happy dreams. I tucked the covers back around him and realized that if I hustled, I could make it down to the continental breakfast before it closed.

I spotted Jerome sitting alone at one of the tables with a half eaten plate of food pushed to the side of his laptop computer.

"Good morning," I greeted him. "Do you mind some company?"

"That will be fine," he agreed, without looking up.

I was off my schedule and very hungry, so I fixed myself a big plate of eggs, bacon, and biscuits, and filled a second one with fruit and a few of he little pastries. I set everything down before going back for juice and coffee.

"You storing up for the winter?" Jerome asked.

"You're welcome to share!" I called over my shoulder.

I love a hearty breakfast, especially when I didn't have to cook it. When I returned to the table, Jerome put his work away and we chatted about ourselves. I learned that he was a life-long bachelor, and what he referred to as a Jack Mormon, which meant he was non-practicing but hadn't renounced his church. He had worked in the office of the Bursar at Brigham Young University for most of his life adult life, and after retiring at the age of 55, he decided to broaden his horizons. He was gay, but owing to his religion, he'd never acted on that. It took me a minute to process that he'd basically admitted he was a virgin.

He enjoyed being around vampires because they were almost all beautiful, and he liked to look, even while he had no intention of touching. It was pretty low on the scale of perversion. I found him incredibly fascinating.

"And what about you?" he asked smiling. "How did you get mixed in with the vampires?"

"That's... a long story," I replied.

We were interrupted then by a pretty woman in a severe black business suit. I noticed the gold embroidered head of a jackal on the breast and realized we were facing yet another representative from Anubis.

"Are you Jerome Smith from the Nevada group?" she asked politely. "I'm Amy Applebottom from Anubis Airlines. I'm here to coordinate your return trip, which will of course be comped by the airline."

Jerome frowned. "I believe we are chartering a plane through a different airline."

"We received a fax this morning from Mr. DeCastro," she said, producing a document and handing it to Jerome. "As part of your party's settlement package, we've agreed to provide air and ground transportation during the hours of daylight, should you require it, to ensure your party reaches its destination on time, as per your original itinerary."

"I'm not going to able to approve any of this without consulting with Mr. DeCastro directly," Jerome said firmly. "None of this is on my agenda for this morning."

"I can understand that, sir. Would you be willing to go over a proposed itinerary? If you choose not to accept the service of Anubis, there will be no harm done, but if you do, we'll be prepared to meet your needs."

"I suppose we can do that."

"I appreciate your time, sir. I've been asked to inform you that the airline is also supplying additional staff; a copilot, which as you know is not standard on small charter planes, as well as an addition to the cabin crew to ensure the comfort of all travelers."

I had to give the woman credit. She was trying her best with someone who had absolutely no reason to be happy with her.

I noticed that people had arrived to clear away the breakfast things. I wanted another cup of coffee before it vanished, so I stood to excuse myself.

"Oh my gosh, it is! Peg, it's the woman from SVM! You're Dear Sookie!" Two diners from a nearby table leapt to their feet and came rushing over to me.

"Hi there," I said nervously.

"You're her, I mean, you're you, aren't you?"

"I am me, yes, and I do write the Dear Sookie column," I said with an awkward smile. I was used to being introduced to people who recognized me, but I'd never had strangers come up to me before.

"I wrote to you last fall about my niece and her boyfriend, do you remember? About whether or not I could invite him to attend Christmas Eve services with us at the church?"

"Oh, yeah," I smiled, more genuinely. "Of course I remember that. How did that work out for your all, did he attend?"

"He did! And he even shook the minister's hand!"

"I'm so glad. That must have meant a lot to your family."

"Oh, it surely did. You know, it was hard for us when we found out she was dating a vampire, but it is so reassuring to learn that he's just like us."

I smiled politely. He surely wasn't "just like them," but I was pleased he was able to do his lover the kindness of sharing Christmas with her family.

"We have to take a picture," the friend, Peg, suggested.

I looked longingly at the coffee cart, something Amy Applebottom picked up on.

"You go ahead," she suggested. "I'll grab you a cup before they clear it up. How do you take it?"

With a grateful smile, I let Amy get me a cup of coffee as I posed for a snapshot with Clueless About Christmas, from Louisville, Kentucky.

"Does that happen to you a lot?" Jerome asked, when the women left.

I took a sip of my coffee and nodded to Amy with a grateful smile. She'd even managed to snag us another small plate of the mini-raspberry danishes.

"It's never happened before," I said. "I guess I don't really travel enough to come in contact with readers like that."

"I bet a lot of your readers are really eager to meet you," Amy said.

Jerome helped himself to one of the danishes and then took up the itinerary that Amy had offered him.

"We have stops just outside of Shreveport and Little Rock, before flying on to Las Vegas. The good thing about the return flight is that we gain hours of darkness flying west. The one thing Felipe has been adamant about in the last few months is not flying in a coffin during the day. It doesn't matter how tight your security is, the afternoon departure is not going to work for us."

That made it sound like Felipe was paranoid. Did he know something that he wasn't sharing with us, or was he just being proactive?

Concerns about the king being overextended with such a large territory were still valid. One thing I'd mentioned to Eric, that had seemed to shock him, was the idea that it would be possible for multiple other kingdoms to gang up together to take Felipe out.

Eric had scoffed at the notion, claiming that when it came to claiming territories, nobody would team up, because nobody would trust that the others would divide things fairly after the smoke cleared. I argued that with three kingdoms in play, the divisions were already clear and there would be no reason to have a dispute.

I figured Felipe must have thought of this at some point. He worked really hard at projecting a serene and powerful persona, but he must know how quickly he could lose everything, especially his life. He was taking no chances these days.

Jerome and Amy quibbled over the itinerary for almost twenty minutes until Felipe's day guy stood abruptly, clutching his left arm.

"Jerome?" I asked.

"Something's wrong," he said. "I feel... I think I'm..."

"Jerome?!" I asked with more alarm. I looked around the dining room, which was pretty sparsely populated by then.

Jerome slumped back in his chair with a hand splayed over his chest. My eyes shot to Amy, who was packing up her bag with a cold look in her eyes.

"You!" I sneered viciously.

"The danishes were meant for you, piggy," she said icily. "It's not my fault he is a glutton too."

"Help!" I shouted, to anyone.

Jerome started gasping for air. He was having a heart attack. I glanced between Amy and Jerome.

Save him, or try to capture her?

Save him.

I bolted into the lobby, grabbing the first hotel employee I could find.

"There's a man in the dining room having a heart attack. Get an ambulance here immediately. And there's a woman in a black suit that needs to be detained for questioning."

The bellhop stared at me blankly.

"Do it NOW!" I shouted, and blessedly, one of the women across the lobby had heard me and grabbed for a service phone. She waved to me to let me know she was on top of it. I nodded. The bellhop ran off. I ran back to Jerome.

Amy was gone.

He was slumped down in the chair. I helped him on to the floor. I had no idea what to do. No idea at all. Elevate something? Clear his airway? I tilted his head back slightly, figuring that it couldn't hurt.

I listened to his labored breathing punctuated by horrible low sounds of whistling pain for five whole minutes before the EMTs arrived.

I stumbled back out of their way as they loaded him on to a stretcher and started hooking him up to various things that beeped and whizzed.

I grabbed the nearest EMT that wasn't actively trying to save Jerome's life.

"He's been poisoned," I said, pointing to the danishes. "This happened two days ago to our pilot. He's going to go into cardiac arrest."

"What was he poisoned with?"

"I don't know. There was a woman here. Amy Applebottom. She said she worked for the airline, but I'm betting that was a lie."

"Ma'am, I need you to calm down. The police are on their way to talk to you. My job is to save this man's life. Do you know what kind of poison was used?"

"I don't. I only know that it causes a heart attack, or something like it, and then full cardiac arrest. And seizure. The pilot had a seizure right before she died."

"Okay. Ma'am, I need you to sit in this chair and keep calm until the police arrive."

"Where are you taking him?"

"We're taking him to County Hospital. Do you know this man's name?"

"Jerome Smith. He's from Las Vegas. I don't know his address there. He's a Mormon. He works for my husband's boss," I babbled.

"Okay Ma'am. What's your name?"

"Sookie. Sookie Stackhouse."

"Okay Mrs. Stackhouse, now you just sit down and stay calm, and we are going to get Mr. Smith to the hospital."

"Thank you," I said weakly.

The police arrived just as the ambulance departed. The officer who questioned me was skeptical at best when I started to talk about Amy Applebottom and poison, until one of the other officers stepped in.

"Actually, Detective, I was there at the airport the other night. This woman was on that plane that had the emergency landing. Pilot had died mid-flight from a heart attack, and one of the passengers had taken some classes at a flight school enough to get them on the ground."

"Yes!" I said. "That was us! I think the pilot was poisoned with the same thing, and the woman that was here said that it was meant for me, and it was in the danishes."

Why it wasn't in the coffee, I'll never know. Maybe she was just a crazy person whose rhymes and reasons were beyond my ken. Maybe it was sweet, and the taste of it would stand out in my coffee, since I hadn't asked for sugar. That made more sense.

"Did you know the woman?"

"I never saw her before."

"And you say she was..." he referred to his little notepad. "An attractive woman with brown hair, in her late twenties."

"Yes."

"Did she have any distinguishing features?"

"No, but... Peg! Peg took my picture. She was in the background!"

Peg, who turned out to be Margaret Marsterson, was a guest of the hotel, and had indeed captured Amy Applebottom on film, or at least, on video memory card. The Detective pushed me hard to try to figure out a motive for the attack, but I had nothing to offer. When they found out that Jerome's boss and my "husband" (the jerk had actually made the air quotes as he said it) were vampires, they let up a bit, reasoning that was explanation enough for now.

By mid afternoon, I was sitting in the emergency room of County Hospital anxiously awaiting news that no one would give me, because I wasn't family. The kind officer who had been at the airport, and who had given me a ride to the hospital, had been able to find out that Jerome was still alive, but that was it.

It was not too difficult to get drips and drabs of other information using my telepathy, but the process was agonizing, because opening myself up to the doctors and nurses minds meant opening myself to the surrounding patients, all of whom were in some degree of misery and pain.

After explaining my plight to the head nurse – this man is my husband's coworker, we're in town for business, he has no family in the state – she finally agreed to alert me of any changes to his condition. I got from her brain that he wasn't yet stable, and whatever was being done to keep him alive required a whole lot of attention from a whole lot of doctors.

It would have to do.

I was mentally weary. I had a bad headache forming, so I forced up my shields and retired to a secluded corner of the waiting room. All I had with me was my phone, wallet, and the hotel key card. After losing a few rounds of Hangman to a computer the size of my fingernail, I sifted through the outdated magazines on the adjacent table. They had last month's copy of Southern Vampire. The woman on the cover was an actress from Georgia who had won a Golden Globe a few years ago, was apparently marrying a vampire out in California, where it was legal. They'd done a huge spread about it.

I flipped through idly, staring at the pictures much more than trying to read anything, until I got to the tiny image of my own face.

_Dear Sookie,_

_I have been seeing the same human exclusively for six months. She is happy in the relationship, but at this point I am indifferent. I like her, but I do not believe we will stay together as a couple in the long term._

_Thinking this was maybe just a slump, we have been trying different activities when we are together. She has been teaching me about her work, and lately, I find that more interesting than I find her._

_Like I said, I can tell she is happy with things as they are. She wants to be with a vampire, and she is. Would it really be wrong for me to stay with her just to learn her skill?_

_Listless in Las Vegas, NV_

_Dear Listless,_

_Yes, it's wrong. I think deep down you know that, or you wouldn't be writing. Just because both people in a relationship are using each other doesn't make it okay. Like the old saying goes: Two wrongs don't make a right._

_I don't like to tell people they should break up, but it sounds like a decision you've already made. I think you are doing both of you a disservice by continuing in the relationship at this point._

_I know many vampires are reluctant to attend modern schools. Everything from the structure (where the instructor has the authority), to the schedule (which is rigid), to the environment (lots of other students, usually human) can seem daunting, but I encourage you to consider this option if you are seeking to learn a new trade. Lots of schools nationwide offer Continuing Education courses for humans and vampires alike. Your local trade school or community college would be a great place to start._

_Best of Luck,_

_Sookie_

I blinked.

Angie told me he reads the column. He'd just learned a new skill. Was it possible? Was Horst Friedman Listless in Las Vegas? If Listless's girlfriend had been an Anubis pilot...

Holy shit.

It was still daylight. I should wait until the vampires rise and find out how Felipe wants to handle this. No. The police already had Amy Applebottom's photograph. She was wearing an Anubis uniform for goodness' sake. It was only a matter of time before they identified her, and discovered her known associates.

I called the Detective who had given me his card, in case I remembered anything else. I had struck me as funny when he said it, because you always hear that line in the movies. Of course, it still takes the full two hours of harrowing adventure before the plucky detective finally unravels it all. Nobody ever calls him up and says, "Hey! Yes! I did remember something extremely pertinent to this case!"

I was cutting this drama short.

I was at the police station when I felt Eric rise for the night. I had sent him a message telling him where I was, and I knew when he had read it. What I didn't understand is why he got progressively more agitated until forty-five minutes later when he burst into the precinct looking ready to tear through the walls.

"Where is my wife?" he demanded of the uniformed officer at the front window.

I could see him easily enough from the detective's desk, but clearly he couldn't see me.

"Excuse me, sir, but, I need to go take care of that," I said sweetly and hurriedly, already halfway out of my chair.

I threw my hands up, when he saw me so he wouldn't come lunging past any police officers before I could reach him.

"Sookie," he said with relief. "You are well? Are you being detained?"

"No. I mean yes. Yes I'm well, no I'm not being detained. We figured out what happened."

"We were told there was an attack on Felipe's man at the hotel this morning. The conference is being postponed. Alabama has already left the city."

"What?"

"When we found out what had happened... they are treating it like a terrorist threat. Everyone is returning home. The important things were decided last night. All of the arbitration is being rescheduled to occur in the coming weeks."

"It's not a terrorist threat though."

"You know who is behind it?"

"It's Horst. Well, and me, but mostly Horst."

"What do you mean?"

"He wrote to me. I didn't know it was him, obviously, and he broke up with his girlfriend, who was an Anubis Pilot, because I told him to, and now she hates us both."

"She was the pilot who died? She killed herself, and meant to take all of us with her?" he demanded.

"No. She wanted us to die, but she knew she couldn't tamper with the plane itself, so she tampered with the pilot. I guess she didn't realize that Horst had continued his lessons after they broke up."

"They captured this woman?"

"Not yet... I... it was my fault. I let her get away. She poisoned Jerome, but it was meant for me, and I had to get someone to call an ambulance. He's at the hospital. They had to do something with his blood and his heart, an emergency quadruple bypass something. I don't know what she used, but it caused bits of his blood to congeal in his heart," I finished, unable to help my disgusted face.

"He lives?" Eric asked.

"They were still operating when I left."

"I must call Felipe."

"Okay. You do that, and I'm going to finish up here."

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.

"No, honey, I think you have scared the nice police officers more than enough."

There was a small crowd of them behind the main desk, all watching Eric like he was a bomb that could blow at any second. He narrowed his eyes at them.

"I will wait for you outside."

Naturally, the police wanted to talk to Horst Friedman, so we were stuck in Louisville for another day.

Felipe and Angie ended up going out to do some vampire mingling with King Isaiah and the King of Wisconsin, who had been unable to get a flight out. News that members of the King of Arkansas and Louisiana's party had been hospitalized or taken away by the police that day, coming on the heels of the rumor that we'd thwarted an attempted hijacking on the way here, had sent the nervous monarchs running for the hills.

The memory of Rhodes was still too fresh, and no one was willing to take any chances. I couldn't really blame them.

Late in the evening, I found myself back at the bar. Surrounding me were Pam, Eric, Rita, and Carrot Top, whose real name was apparently Daibhidh, though he went by Davie. They were talking about tithing structures and exciting new ways to make money, and I was happy to bask in their collective mental voids.

"Our king kept you close this weekend, Viking," Rita observed.

"It was his pleasure to do so," Eric said noncommittally.

"There is talk about the fact that Jonathan has never been named Regent," she continued.

"Is there?" Of course there was.

"Do you think he will name you?" she asked bluntly.

"I certainly hope not."

"You don't want it?" Davie asked.

"No," Eric said simply.

"Then you eye the kingship," Red Rita countered.

"If I did, I would not be likely to tell you, Rita," he said, offering her his most winning smile.

"Perhaps you should," she suggested. "Perhaps there are ways we can help each other."

I could feel the warnings careening back and forth between Eric and I. I guess Red Rita was ready to take off the training wheels. This was big time treason, and frankly I was shocked as shit that it was being discussed in front of me, let alone _at all_.

"I am always at your service, Regent," Eric answered carefully. "But I truly have no interest for myself. If you will excuse us, it is past time I take my sleepy wife to our bed."

I feigned a yawn, and then Eric and I proved ourselves the worst friends ever when we completely abandoned Pam to the wolves. She'd be fine. She'd get the dirt, anyway.

Life goes on, or in this case, death continues.

* * *

A/N: Maybe some people who follow me were hoping for a BoaF update – I promise, it's on its way!


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